I’m writing this post under duress.
There is a virtual ruler suspended over my hands, ready to pin my fingers to
the keyboard if I do not comply. Even worse:The Trunchbull might throw me in
the chokey. (For those of you who are not fans of Roald Dahl’s Matilda, the Trunchbull is a
headmistress who terrorizes children by throwing them into a torture chamber.)
So write I will, but I will make it short. Hopefully, Truchbull (you know who
you are) will be appeased.
There is a virtual ruler suspended over my hands, ready to pin my fingers to
the keyboard if I do not comply. Even worse:The Trunchbull might throw me in
the chokey. (For those of you who are not fans of Roald Dahl’s Matilda, the Trunchbull is a
headmistress who terrorizes children by throwing them into a torture chamber.)
So write I will, but I will make it short. Hopefully, Truchbull (you know who
you are) will be appeased.
Last week I received a little award. Other
people in my district also won, and there was a dinner in our honor. Yes, thank
you, it was very nice, and now I will move on.
people in my district also won, and there was a dinner in our honor. Yes, thank
you, it was very nice, and now I will move on.
Anyway, I had to go to the television
studio in our district’s high school to make a thank you video that would be
shown on award night. This was a good thing, because talking in front of many hundreds
of people can be a paralyzing task, as many people know. Well, apparently,
sitting in front of a green screen in a bright studio with dozens of people
watching your every move through glass is no picnic either. Or so I learned.
The hard way.
studio in our district’s high school to make a thank you video that would be
shown on award night. This was a good thing, because talking in front of many hundreds
of people can be a paralyzing task, as many people know. Well, apparently,
sitting in front of a green screen in a bright studio with dozens of people
watching your every move through glass is no picnic either. Or so I learned.
The hard way.
People won’t understand this unless they
know me extremely well. I like to keep a low profile. I am painfully shy in
unfamiliar situations and with people I don’t know well. And I despise being the center of attention. (A
source of discomfort even at my own wedding.) So this was a nice, but totally unnerving
honor to be saddled graced with.
know me extremely well. I like to keep a low profile. I am painfully shy in
unfamiliar situations and with people I don’t know well. And I despise being the center of attention. (A
source of discomfort even at my own wedding.) So this was a nice, but totally unnerving
honor to be saddled graced with.
Like most teachers, when I assign student presentations, I
tell students to use their index cards for key word cues, but to really try to
memorize as much as they can. So I memorized- really improvised- my brief
speech. A good idea, I thought, because then I wouldn’t have to rely on the teleprompter, and the thank you would be natural looking. Also, what if my poor eyesight caused
me to squint to see the prompter, or what if I stumbled on the words? I would forever be the English teacher who couldn’t read!
tell students to use their index cards for key word cues, but to really try to
memorize as much as they can. So I memorized- really improvised- my brief
speech. A good idea, I thought, because then I wouldn’t have to rely on the teleprompter, and the thank you would be natural looking. Also, what if my poor eyesight caused
me to squint to see the prompter, or what if I stumbled on the words? I would forever be the English teacher who couldn’t read!
Sigh… I should have read the stupid teleprompter. Since I didn’t want to get confused by the combination of having the
speech in my head contradict the speech on the prompter, I tilted my head
slightly up and to the left. Which resulted in…my
left eye looking closed, and a mouth that looked like paralysis had set in
on one side. I looked like Quasimodo. With lipstick. Quasimodo’s sister.
speech in my head contradict the speech on the prompter, I tilted my head
slightly up and to the left. Which resulted in…my
left eye looking closed, and a mouth that looked like paralysis had set in
on one side. I looked like Quasimodo. With lipstick. Quasimodo’s sister.
I was so repulsed
that I thanked the folks in the studio and bolted out of there. But that tape
haunted me for weeks. Nightmares. Daymares. The whole enchilada. I even thanked my family
for loving me even though I was so crooked.
that I thanked the folks in the studio and bolted out of there. But that tape
haunted me for weeks. Nightmares. Daymares. The whole enchilada. I even thanked my family
for loving me even though I was so crooked.
When
I recovered, I begged for a retake. This
time I was not too proud to read the teleprompter. I was okay with the retake, but
the folks running the event were not. They wanted Quasi, for reasons unknown.
Probably for the comedic value.
I recovered, I begged for a retake. This
time I was not too proud to read the teleprompter. I was okay with the retake, but
the folks running the event were not. They wanted Quasi, for reasons unknown.
Probably for the comedic value.
However, there was still a slight ray of hope.
In charge of the editing process was one
of my former students, a wonderful boy who struggled to find his niche in the
world until he found the magic that is the school’s television studio. I asked him to use his own judgment, and said that
I trusted him to choose the tape that was better.
In charge of the editing process was one
of my former students, a wonderful boy who struggled to find his niche in the
world until he found the magic that is the school’s television studio. I asked him to use his own judgment, and said that
I trusted him to choose the tape that was better.
All I can say is that I’m so happy he liked
my class!
my class!
Now shoo, Trunchbull!
